it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
