Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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