remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
