TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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