Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
