so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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