she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
