So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
