i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize