At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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