So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Is this like a preordered booty call?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
