I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize