He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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