i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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