I think my vagina is haunted
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
