Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
