If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
