Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
