Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
