If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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