i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
