yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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