i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
