she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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