I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
