OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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