so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
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