I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
