I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
