I'm drive I can fine osifer
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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