as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm both gender and math confused
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
