You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
