Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
