did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
