I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize