so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
