We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
