Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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