I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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