I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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