Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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