We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
