Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
