best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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