I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
its not stalking. its research.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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