just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My ATM looks so different sober.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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