The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
