im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
