that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
