Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
