And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Randomize
