I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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