It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
