you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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