you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
