I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
