he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
