I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he thought i was a dude.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I FOUND THE LEGS
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
