Well douche your snatch and let's go!
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
