I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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